


stained red

by xandermin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Pre-Relationship, keith is Stressed, lance comforts him, pining keith if you squint, there are probably errors in this bc im a fool, this is gay, this is kinda all over the place idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xandermin/pseuds/xandermin
Summary: The consequences of war become overwhelming when you finally have time to think about them.





	

The mission was supposed to be simple, just another Galra-infested moon that needed rescue. But things had gotten complicated when they'd been blind sided by actual Galra soldiers. In the past when they'd just been blasting them from their Lions and Voltron, or smashing their stupid droids, it had superficial, easy.

But now Keith's bayard felt heavy, and for once he wished he had a gun like Lance and Hunk, instead of his trusted sword.

Killing with a sword was ...

The atmosphere was smothering. They exited their Lions in silence. Keith found himself missing the chatter; Hunks warm compliments, Pidge's curious quips, Shiro's praise, Lance's horrible jokes – he'd gotten too used to it, the comfort.

He looked at the other paladins. Lance, despite his tall body, looked small. Hunk had a hand on the blue paladin's shoulder. Pidge stood close to Shiro, her eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths through her nose. Shiro just looked tired, but he broke the silence nonetheless.

“We did a good thing today,” he said, his voice was not as reassuring as it usually was. “We relieved the people of that moon from the Galran tyranny, we – we did the right thing.”

Keith's bayard still burned.

Hunk was the second to speak. “Well, I'm gonna get cleaned up and whip something up for dinner, anyone else hungry?” he asked with a sombre smile.

Keith wasn't particularly hungry.

 

* * *

 

 

After a long shower and a change of clothes, Keith made his way to the dining room, seeking the company of his teammates. He felt stupid, he'd lived alone in the desert for a year, he shouldn't crave the company of others as badly as he did. But his mind was too tired to deny himself the small and simple joy.

His fellow paladins were all sat in their usual seats around the table, along with Allura and Coran. Keith quietly walked in and sat in his chair beside Lance.

Hunk had somehow managed to dish up a large pot of soup. It was an odd shade of purple, and Keith didn't recognize any of the vegetables that floated in it. He didn't care to ask, it was good, it was food, it was warm.

Keith ate in silence, half-listening to Hunk and Pidge's conversation. Something about possible upgrades to the Lions, how Pidge wanted to install a cloaking device on all of them. Allura, Shiro, and Coran seemed to have a conversation f their own, probably about the mission. Keith didn't hear much of it.

“You okay buddy?” Lance asked him.

Keith turned his head to look at Lance, and found Lance already watching him. Lance's chin rested in his right hand, elbow on the table. He had a cut on his lower lip, and a dark bruise was forming on his arm. Keith's mind tightened.

“Yeah, I'm just tired,” Keith replied.

Lance frowned, but didn't push further. Instead, he bumped his knee against Keith's under the table. Keith bumped back. Lance got a cheeky glint in his eye as he used his foot to push Keith's leg. Keith pushed back rather harshly causing Lance's foot to swing back. They kicked and shoved back and forth while Keith returned to his meal.

Suddenly Pidge let out a yelp. “Lance, what the hell! You just kicked me!”

“Hey!” Lance exclaimed, turning his attention away from Keith. “It was Keith's fault, he shoved my leg!”

Keith put his spoon down, his bowl was empty. He glared at Lance. “Only because you kicked me first.”

“Wait, wait a second,” Hunk interrupted. “You two were playing footsie under the table? While we were _eating?_ ”

“We weren't playing footsie, we were _fighting!_ ” Lance exclaimed again, an embarrassed flush evident on his ears.

“Mmm-hmm,” Hunk hummed, he looked at Lance with a raised brow.

For some reason, Keith couldn't help but smile. The familiar banter spread a warmth through his stomach, he felt – safe.

“Well,” he said, stretching his arms above his head, “I won.”

 

* * *

 

 

The castle was always eerily quiet when everyone was asleep. The only sound was the soft hum of the castle itself. The silence felt heavy, like a room full of smoke. Keith sat on the floor in front of the window in the control room and watched the large purple nebula ahead. It had clouds of red and blue swirled into it, as if they were swirls on a paint palette.

He remembered the feeling of his bayard stabbing into the Galra soldier's lower back, into his flesh, through his organs, until the tip of the sword erupted from his abdomen. Keith's breath hitched as he relived it. He could feel himself pulling the sword out, except his mind re-played it in slow motion. He could feel every move of the dying soldier via the hilt of his sword, his body's final spasms before he passed out. The loud thump as his body hit the floor and he bled out. Keith still had the soldier's blood on his armour when they got back.

And again, when another soldier had tried to attack Pidge. This time, Keith had simply gone for the Galra's throat, easily slicing his pulse so blood splattered all over his helmet. He'd seen the soldier's eyes turn blank, heard him gargle desperately, clinging on.

Keith had to do it, he had to cover Pidge so she could get the information they needed. He had to protect her because she was his teammate, a vital part of his new family. And in the heat of the moment he hadn't thought much of it, he was fuelled by adrenaline and anger.

But sitting in silence, watching the endlessness of space in front of him, he remembered every second, every twitch of the Galras' dying bodies.

He couldn't help but think … did they … did they have families? Mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters? They had to have families. Had Keith killed someone's child? Would a Galran parent be sitting in their home, mourning now, because Keith had torn their family apart?

Keith screwed his eyes shut.

The gentle padding of bare feet alerted him that he wasn't alone. Long strides, Keith knew they belonged to Lance.

“Keith, what are you doing here?” Lance spoke quietly, his voice a little hoarse.

Keith didn't look at him. “Enjoying the view,” he half-lied.

Lance came to a halt beside him before sitting down, bringing his knees up to his chest so he could rest his chin on them. Keith glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, Lance looked tired. The whites of his eyes were stained red, a sharp contrast to the blue in his irises.

Red. Blood red. Red was the stain of death.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. The silence wasn't as heavy now that they shared it.

“Keith you – you can talk to us y'know,” Lance said softly.

Keith turned his head to look at him. Lance's eyes were on the view ahead. The way the purple of the nebula reflected in his eyes was … nice.

Keith cleared his throat. “I know,” he replied.

Lance spoke again without looking at Keith. “I know you talk to Shiro about a lot of stuff, but me, Hunk, and Pidge are here for you too, and I – don't want you to feel like we don't want to be there for you.”

A flush of affection swept through Keith.

“I just,” Lance began again, “I can tell you aren't okay, and you don't have to tell me but like, I just want you to know that if you wanted to tell me that'd be like, totally okay, and I'd listen because we're in this together ...” he trailed off, finally turning his head to look at Keith.

A small, genuine smile grew on Keith's face. “Yeah, I – I'm sorry for not being really open with you guys.” He turned his head back to the view of space. “I'm not used to having a lot of people.”

Lance smiled. “Better get used to it mullet-head, we're not going anywhere.”

_You can't know that_ , Keith thought. But he felt comfortable and safe in that moment, with Lance by his side. The vastness of space wasn't as suffocating.

“I killed two Galra today,” he said, voice barely audible. “I know I had to do it, it was the only way, but ...” Keith trailed off. He turned to look at Lance again, letting his guard down. “They were alive, they – they had families, they went to school, they were kids once.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It's just … hard to forget.” He opened his eyes again, just as a shooting star shot through the purple clouds.

Lance tentatively raised a hand and placed it gently on Keith's shoulder. “It's okay,” he said. “I … was thinking the same, when we got back.” Bit by bit Lance's thumb began rubbing Keith's shoulder in soothing motions. Lance had turned back to look out the window, Keith followed.

Silence fell again, but lighter this time. Space didn't feel as empty with Lance's hand on Keith's shoulder, with the sounds of steady breaths filling the room.

There was no solution to these feelings, they would always rest in the back of their minds. But now it was easier.

 


End file.
